Did the evil Hume overlords conspire to shaft a daughter of Sunbury?

Comrades, Our proud Sunbury lassie Councillor Ann Potter appeared on the millionaire hot seat last week. Comrade Ann was performing admirably until she was asked the $50,000 question, one that was vague and definitely out of left field. Our brave warrior was left bereft of an answer and lost the lot. Many in our fair land have said that they think that this was a deliberate ploy to crush Comrade Potter. Consider this my people. Who is the host of millionaire hot seat? None other than Eddie ( I'm a Broady Boy) McGuire. Some say that despite living in Brighton Eddie still has close ties to the despots of Hume. Is it too far fetched to hypothesise that he may have been tasked to set up our proud daughter of Sunbury to fail as a way of reminding our people of their place in their world order? I think not my children. Coincidence or not, you be the judge but the people know the truth

A rallying war cry for Sunbury Patriots. Proof of our oppression by "The Man"

Cassie loses. Further evidence of the plot to suppress our people?

Comrades and Patriots.

By now the news of Cassie's supermodel loss has surely reached your ears. For this proud Sunbury Bogan lassie to stumble and fall at the last hurdle is again proof that the deep seated plot to continue the subjugation of our people reaches all the way to the highest levels of power.

Our operatives report that our evil overseers were desperate to ensure that this proud daughter of Sunbury was set up to fail. So desperate were they to ensure that the name of Sunbury be kept hidden from the world. They could not allow the grand name of Sunbury to rise to international prominence. Imagine it if they had failed in their evil game. The fashion page headlines would now include the phrase, " Paris, London, Rome, Milan, Sunbury".

Now instead of strutting the catwalks of Europe our proud Sunbury Bogan has been forced back to the streets of Goonawarra. So wrong so very wrong.

Beware the sticker cometh

Soon to be available at all good SLF sympathiser businesses. The kids will luv em. What will those fuddy duddy conservative supporters of the status quo have to say about this? Perhaps something like" Quick, Quick lets suppress the will of the people. After all we know what's best for the community"

All animals are equal but some are more equal than others

Joining Forces. Two great movements come together to continue the righteous struggle

Comrades today is indeed a momentous day in the history of our movement. Today I can announce that after months of protracted negotiations the SLF has joined forces with our ideological brothers in arms and traditional allies, the feared Bulla Liberation Front (BLF). Yes patriots, the noble and feared BLF led by their brave and charismatic leader Spartacus Clarke has forged an alliance with the SLF and have been welcomed into our revolutionary fold. Together our two proud movement will continue the struggle to liberate our lands from the Hume usurpers.

Negotiations are also continuing with the Popular front for the liberation of Diggers Rest North ( aka the Northern Alliance) however some issues remain to be resolved such as the SLF insistence that they abandon their support for the Diggers Rest football club and instead support the Sunbury Kangaroos. More to come on this important diplomatic negotiation.

Hugh Laurie with words of encouragement for our movement

Che speaks of love and tolerance and says quit your jibber jabber or I'll come in with the wooden spoon and give you what for

Patriots. I have been having some night thoughts in a time of war. I am concerned that some in our fair land do not share the pure ideals of the SLF and may be seeking to use our noble cause for other agendas. Membership of the SLF is open to all who wish to see our lands free. We do not discriminate on the basis of age, race gender, IQ, or facial hair ( which is good for my Nana). We will not however allow our pure zeal to be diluted and sidetracked by petty squabbles and bruised egos. My Sunbury children, why do you bicker so? Do you not know the true opponent lies outside of our lands? The SLF is an organisation dedicated to the health and welfare of all Sunbury villagers. To fight amongst ourselves is to allow our foes to divide and conquer. Disunity is death. Put aside the malice and hubris in your hearts. Turn to the righteous and peaceful path of the SLF. Join us I implore you. Sunbury will benefit from a strong and united people who present an impregnable wall of resolve. Let us link our hands in patriotism and love. Come sit with me under a shady tree near the memorial hall, sing koombaiya and dream of a better life, land and future for our children. Cast aside the old ways as some do with their First wife. Let us say Goodbye Jerusalem , Goodbye Babylon and cross the red sea into Canaan land. I am no Nostradamus kid but I see a better future for Sunbury on the horizon. To those who do not heed my calls of tolerance and understanding I say Run Rabbit Run far from our lands. My people if we do not unite we will find ourselves saying Goodbye Paradise. My people contemplate my word the next time you spend a warm night on a slow moving train to Sunbury (Soon to be even slower once the electrification comes). Let us devote ourselves to better causes and actions such as first abolishing the customer service centre feebly offered by our overlords and replacing it with council of our own. So it goes my people. Stray strong and remember that I love you all my people.

Ronnie RAAF looks to the skies to defend our land

Sunbury Activist warriors

Ayatollah Ken sounds a warning re the nefarious activities of the Hume Airforce and proposes a solution to our plight. In a dispatch to the revolutionary council he sets out his defensive plan:

As an ex military radar technician can I suggest that we need protection from the Hume F18's. We first need radar air defence to be set up in the town. A cool $25m should get us started. Can I suggest passing the hat, running a few chook raffles etc, to raise the necessary funds. I will offer my services to maintain the systems. My services will be free but we need an ongoing $10,000 per week to provide for spares etc. Should be easy enough. Lets just get all of the school kids in the town to rattle the tin in Evans Street every day during their lunch hour.

Yours in Revolution

Ken

The SLF endorse this proposal. Ward Grants from both Sunbury councillors will immediately be sought. The Federation arch ( pick up sticks ) will be an ideal platform to mount our radar defences. ( Finally a use for the old scrap pile) Woe betide any erstwhile Hume aviator who attempts to enter our no fly zone.

Freedom and fridge magnets for all

Members of the Sunbury Resistance.

The SLF revolutionary committee, recently expended some some of our valuable revolutionary funds on the official SLF fridge magnet. Is your fridge looking dull, bland and oppressed? Does its bland, bleak and staid appearance remind you of our bleak outlook and future under our remotely located overlords. Abolish this whitegood winter of discontent with with your own little piece of revolutionary fervour. Each magnet has been personally blessed by our glorious leader Che' Evans. Simply contact us via our covert email facility, provide a mailing address and you shall receive this potent piece of rebel symbolism. Proudly place it on your fridge or any other magnetic surface.Proudly show your support for our cause and the people of Sunbury. Show all who enter your kitchen that you will not be downtrodden for ever.

(Limit of one magnet per revolutionary. SLF reserves the right to offer an alternate blessing of equal or lesser value by another revolutionary of our choosing )

Imelda Ashfield reveals a chilling truth

Comrades, As part of a united struggle, our valiant warrior Imelda Ashfield has put pen to paper. In a stirring internal email, she exposes the cunning stratagem of Hume City Council to restrict our operatives movement and entrap them a pincer movement

Imelda reveals that the speed humps installed in Mitchells Lane are in fact a ploy to prevent our operatives making a speedy exit along this broad thoroughfare after covert sorties within our fair CBD. Yes folks as chilling as it is wicked. Our Hume overlords plan to lay in wait and intercept our peace loving freedom fighters as they leave Mystic Pizza after a convivial night with family and friends. In the ensuing flight they plan to corral our partisan warriors into the speed hump ridden, filling shaking, vertebrae crushing track and thus capture and enslave them. In defiance of the Hume Council Charter of Human Rights our operatives would then be subjected to cruel and humiliating taunts such as being paraded down Camp Road dressed only in a tattered flannelette shirt or torn AC/DC T-shirt while crowds hurl abuse and chant "Bogan, Bogan"

Imelda proposes that the SLF establish a covert hideout to the Ashfield lake/swap. She is confident that this would ensure our operatives have a sanctuary to flee to when pursued by the Hume Council Hounds of Hell.

Imelda is commended for her insight and military cunning

Viva Imelda, Viva Sunbury

The knives are out

Patriots and freedom lovers. Some in our community are running scared. disturbed by the prospect of the voice of the people being heard above the Hume city council Borg like drone.

We hear rumours of meetings where the identity of our operatives are discussed and plans hatched to reveal our members to the outside world.

How strange that such witty musings should be of such concern to those who consider themselves the Sunbury elite. To these quislings, we defy your treacherous ways and send this message. We will never surrender to you and your kind. Justice will be obtained for Sunbury

Setting out the truth

Patriots and proud Sunburyites

Today we received an email from Councillor Ann Potter. Comrade Ann kindly gave us permission to use a more flattering photo of her on this blog of truth and freedom So we have.
She asked of us to mention that it was the Kennett government was the one who forced us into a life of servitude and slavery. Because she was so nice about it and wasn't the slightest bit tricky the revolutionary council has met and agreed to her request. It is true freedom fighters that Our happy land and merry village way of life was trampled by the Kennett Government. Surely this ranks as one of there worst decisions made, along with the introduction of casinos, the culling of teachers, nurses and police. This lamentable act cannot be denied. It is only fair to apportion blame where it lies. It is also true however (and fair) to remind all in our village and shire that the ALP promised hand on heart to relieve us of our torment and enslavery. Bracksy made that solemn vow in 1999. Many looked to him as the great emancipator. In hindsight perhaps he was more the great procrastinator. ( or as some in our movement uncouthly say the great ma$%ubator) We await this promise to be honoured.

She also asked of us why we wish to free ourselves from slavery and imprisonment given that we we taken into captivity back in 1994? Our answer is simple. Freedom is our birthright.

Just as the good folk of East Timor were liberated in 1999 after enduring years of oppression so too do we look to the sky with freedom in our heart. Just as the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea to freedom. So too do we long for our Canaan land.

Just as the Berlin wall crumbled under the might of people power so too do we vow that one day we will stand as free men and women under the new Shire of Sunbury flag.

Time cannot erase the longing and yearning in our hearts for the sweet day when our shackles fall from our arms and legs and we stand proud and free. Remember... They can take our rates but they can never take our freedom.

P.S Comrade Potter also enquired as to the identity of one of our covert revolutionaries was in the Leader photo was.... The SLF have sworn and vowed a vow unto death never to betray a fellow member. All we can say is. I know who you think it is Comrade but you are mistaken in your assumption. They may be low but we do have some standards.

Welcome to our latest recruits

Comrades,

It is with great pomp and ceremony that we welcome our latest recruits in the fight to liberate Sunbury from the evil shackles of the Hume Imperialists. Please join me in standing and saluting:

Imelda Ashfield and Ayatollah Ken.

Imelda has vowed the sacred vow to rid our fair lands of the scourge of the Hume Council. Proudly she stands, ham sandwich in hand ready to defend us from all enemies. Not since William Wallace has such a committed firebrand stood boldly in the face of the foe. A warrior through and through. In her spare time Imelda enjoys scrap booking, travel, meeting people and hopes for world peace ( Hume council excepted)

Ken has been appointed the provisional commander of the SLF peoples air force due to his extensive experience both in military hardware and airfix model planes. Plus he has seen Top Gun 28 times and has it both on VHS and betamax A noble mighty crusader ready to defend us from all foes.

Patriots we salute you.

Ann votes no to freedom. Jack says freedom for all

Sunbury patriots and freedom lovers. I am the bearer of sad tidings. Last week our brave freedom fighting operatives contacted our elected municipal representatives in Councillors Ann Potter and Jack Ogilvie via our top secret encrypted e-mail system seeking indications of support for our righteous cause. Mayor Ogilvie replied that he believes in democracy and if people want to participate in a plebiscite then that's democracy at work. A true patriot.

Councillor Potter replied, asking that we ring her to discuss the matter further. ( Some in our movement suspect that this was a ploy designed to identify our covert hideout so the Hume Council fleet of black helicopters, teeming with Swat operatives or at the very least 3 Hume parking officers and the local dog catcher could be dispatched from their base at Melbourne Airport to capture our glorious leader. ) But many in our movement are prepared to give her a go and suspect that behind her party line she is a true Sunbury patriot.

What can be revealed now freedom lovers is that at around the same time as the sending of Councillor Potters email, someone voted no on our website poll that asked the question "Do you support our freedom fighters in their righteous battle to free Sunbury from the shackles of the imperialist Hume City Council?". Comparison of Councillor Potters email IP number and that of the person who responded No suggest that they are one and the same. The SLF now asks. What is Councillor Potters view on our quest to have Sunbury out of Hume and into the light of freedom and emancipation? Surely this proud daughter of Sunbury would not betray her own kin.

Councillor Potter, do our our cries of "freedom, freedom" fall on deaf ears? Open your eyes and see the dystopia that our fair land has become under the jackboot of our Hume oppressors. Does not liberty flow through your veins as sure as Jacksons and Blind creek flow through our fair lands? Do you not pine for our merry village way of life and reflect on how things once were? Whilst spending all that time sitting still in your car on Sunbury Road each morning and evening peak hour gridlock do you not think that there has to be a better way? Does not your chest swell with pride as you stroll down the broad boulevard named after my illustrious fore-father? Do you not sink into deep contemplation and ponder what it would be like to breathe free air during the many hours you spend trying to find a park within 2 km’s of the town centre? Search your heart my sister and join us in our struggle for liberation.

Put aside petty rivalries between yourself and men with large amounts of facial hair on their upper lip and a ham sandwich fetish and unite with us in a noble and just quest. History will judge us righteous. Join us. Become the Boadicea of Sunbury. I and all of Sunbury beseech you

Support from our sister city

Patriots and freedom lovers,

Fair Sunbury is not alone in its struggle for independence against tyrannical neighbours. Many Sunbury folks will be familiar with the epic struggle between the patriotic folks of Springfield and their nemesis, the evil and wicked turnip juice loving folks of Shelbyville. In a show of support and solidarity the good folks of Springfield united in a symbolic gesture of unity with our cause. Witness the good work of our Springfield based sympathisers, The message is being broadcast around the world people. Heed our cry politicians. The SLF will not rest until the shackles of oppression have been lifted from our lands and people.

Stay Strong Sunbury Separatist Citizens

My fellow citizens and revolutionaries.

The SLF are poised to strike at the heart of the dragon. In the coming weeks you will see our righteous indignation manifested and writ large. No more will we be a down trodden underclass. The fervently righteous SLF freedom squad will begin our campaign for truth in the next few weeks designed to counter the propaganda spread by the evil Hume Soviet and their Spring Street masters. Look to the skies my people (and this site) All will be revealed soon

Joining the ranks. The few,The brave,The proud

Comrades, Since the publication of our manifesto we have fielded numerous enquires from patriotic Sunbury dwellers expressing their fervent zeal and desire to join the SLF and join the frontline in the struggle against oppression.

The Sunbury Liberation Front is an apolitical organisation. No political allegiences other than a total dedication to the Sunbury cause is permitted. All potential recruits are subjected to a stringent vetting and screening process very similar to that utilised by one of our revolutionary forerunners, The People's Front of Judea.

Prior to your induction you will need to undergo our initiation ceremony. Candidates are required to report to the Nook where following their recanting of any previously held political allegiances they undergo a ceremonial baptism in the cleansing waters of Jackson's Creek, where their political affiliations are symbolically washed away, to be replaced by a pure Sunbury based ideology ( Please note an alternate ceremony is available for members of the ALP Socialist Left, members of the Greens and anyone else with an aversion to taking a bath.) Please notify your recruiting officer if this is applicable to you.

Support from afar

Brave revolutionaries. Good News. Our plight has reached the ears of the mighty U.S Army. These noble warriors well versed in combating tyranny have bonded with us in a show of solidarity . Fresh from the ensuring that the people of Iraq can enjoy a nice ham sandwich without fear of torture or execution, our brave warrior kin proudly show their support for our cause. Help is at hand my people. It is the beginning of the end of tyranny.

The truth about the Evan's Street Grassland laid bare

Oppressed citizenry of Sunbury ( Including Bulla and parts of Diggers Rest). Many in our fair land bewail the non use of the so called Evans Street Grasslands and opine as to why it has not been turned into something more useful such as ...oh maybe a new train station, shops or car parking. Our totalitarian rulers resist all such cries of logic, electing to retain the weed and snake infested acreage. Given that it was strange for our ruling clan to spurn the opportunity to reap, and pillage our community assets for the good of their fiefdom, SLF operatives led by our surveillance commander Jose-Ramos Goonawarra have for some time had the Evans Street Grasslands under covert surveillance. The truth is as shocking as it is unbelievable. Children and those of a faint constitution should cease reading at this point and avert your eyes.

It can now be revealed that nefarious forces have been using the grasslands as a staging point and covert operational base to plan and orchestrate an assassination attempt on our glorious leader Che' Evans. Shown here for the first time is incontrovertible proof that evil doers seek to eliminate Che's cries of freedom for Sunbury. In this photo you see the gun for hire mercenary emerging from his lair deep within the grasslands having lain in wait patiently for Che to visit the street named after is ancestors and pay homage to his heritage. Even more chilling was the killers secondary objective to target any Sunbury resident found to be eating a ham sandwich. Be vigilant fellow freedom fighters. Our enemy is wily and in league with many other evildoers. But fear not. Our glorious leader is safe and well having thwarted this attempt on his life. Fellow Patriots. Liberty flows within our veins as sure as Jackson's creek winds through our fair lands. Heed the cry. Softly at first but soon to grow to a mighty roar " Freedom , Freedom"

Why our rulers deprive us of a second post office

Members of the Sunbury underclass. Many in our downtrodden community have long called for a second post office to be built in Sunbury with the queue for service often stretching out the door. It would seem that a second post office is a logical step to alleviate this problem. The reason why we do not have a second post office can now be revealed.

Our cruel overseers at Hume have infiltrated Australia Post and seek to deny us the chance to communicate with the outside world. In a manner more befitting of the ruling Burmese junta they seek to close off our opportunity to communicate with the outside world and so hope to muffle both our cries of "Freedom, Freedom" and our cries of pain. SLF covert operatives report that this only the beginning of the suppression of our dissent with plots to eventually close the Sunbury post office well advanced. With the advent of the Rudd governments Internet censorship blacklist filter in the verge of implementation, soon we will be cut off from the outside world. No more will we be able to fire off a snappy letter to the editor calling for help to end our plight. Our cries to Amnesty International and the UN will fall on unhearing ears.

The SLF however is equipped to counter this diabolical plan having recently acquired a number of carrier pigeons which we will use to keep the lines of communications open. We did suffer a minor set back when two of our brothers in arms; Fidel Clarke and Pancho Boardman mistook them for lunch and cooked up a delightfully light meal of braised squab in a caramelised onion sauce with green pea puree washed down with a delightful drop of Pat Carmody's finest Craiglee 2001 Chardonnay. War is hell people.