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Sunbury Pride. Billy Thorpe live at the Sunbury Rock Festival

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Imelda Ashfield reveals a chilling truth




Comrades, As part of a united struggle, our valiant warrior Imelda Ashfield has put pen to paper. In a stirring internal email, she exposes the cunning stratagem of Hume City Council to restrict our operatives movement and entrap them a pincer movement

Imelda reveals that the speed humps installed in Mitchells Lane are in fact a ploy to prevent our operatives making a speedy exit along this broad thoroughfare after covert sorties within our fair CBD. Yes folks as chilling as it is wicked. Our Hume overlords plan to lay in wait and intercept our peace loving freedom fighters as they leave Mystic Pizza after a convivial night with family and friends. In the ensuing flight they plan to corral our partisan warriors into the speed hump ridden, filling shaking, vertebrae crushing track and thus capture and enslave them. In defiance of the Hume Council Charter of Human Rights our operatives would then be subjected to cruel and humiliating taunts such as being paraded down Camp Road dressed only in a tattered flannelette shirt or torn AC/DC T-shirt while crowds hurl abuse and chant "Bogan, Bogan"

Imelda proposes that the SLF establish a covert hideout to the Ashfield lake/swap. She is confident that this would ensure our operatives have a sanctuary to flee to when pursued by the Hume Council Hounds of Hell.

Imelda is commended for her insight and military cunning

Viva Imelda, Viva Sunbury

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